Thoughts on being a parent

I don’t often post my parenting thoughts here, but on the eve of my son’s third birthday, I was looking at Kahlil Gibran’s book The Prophet, and reading the passage on children.

“And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.”

The Prophet – Kahlil Gibran P 25-26

 

Three years ago today at this time, I was in a hospital room after 5 days of stop and go labour. I remember dreaming at night that I was floating in the open ocean hanging on to a log. I guess as I would have contractions in my sleep I would envision a large wave and I would hold on to that log for dear life. Finally, I was in active labour and I was going to have a baby. I was telling my son the story of his birth tonight. About where I was at this time three years ago. I told him about the waiting for 12 hours after taking an epidural and waiting for the dilation to occur so I could push, only to find out the following morning that I wasn’t going to dilate more than 8 cms and that he was upside down and I’d have to have a caesarian.

I remember being prepped for surgery, and the doctors talking about their golf games and what they did on the weekend (he was born on a Monday morning). I remember the doctor telling me it would feel like someone was standing on me. The next thing I knew, I heard, “Congratulations, Amanda. You have a little boy.” I remember holding my breath and waiting for him to cry. It felt like such a long time, I thought my heart had stopped. When I heard the wail coming from my newborn son, it unleashed a well of emotions. Gratitude, happiness, fear, overwhelm and unbounded joy. The nurse carried him over to me while I was being stitched up.

My first words to my husband were, “holy shit. We have a kid!”.

I had been calling Ian by name since he was in the womb. I remember yelling to the nurse who asked me if I had chosen a name that his name is IAN! My husband wanted to name him Lou for Roberto Luongo (we are all Canucks – LOL), but that was happening over my dead body. I wanted him to have a good Scottish name. Ian it is.

Today I have an exuberant, loving and funny 2 year old kid. He’s tenacious and stubborn too. But he’s mine for now. Until he spreads his wings and takes off on his own journey. I’m going to enjoy him while I have him  in my arms.

Though he is with me, he does not belong to me. I know that. I will not strive to make him like me. I’m looking forward to seeing who he will become on his own and what the future holds for him. A popular question I get as a medium is whether I look into the lives of my family members.

I generally don’t. I don’t look into Ian’s future, or my husband’s. There are some things in life that are better left as mysteries.

July 22nd at 11:39 am, I will have a three year old. Wow.

Sometimes the thing you’re most afraid of doing is the thing that sets you free

 

I saw this on Facebook the other day and the second I saw it, I thought, “yep! this is going on my blog, because it accurately describes the last few months.”

As a young woman, I always remember being glued to shows like Long Island Medium (not Theresa Caputo herself, but other mediums who had TV shows when I was younger). You also couldn’t pry me away from the TV when Sylvia Browne or John Edwards were doing their thing. I couldn’t believe that there were people who could channel spirit!

I used to think to myself, “man. If only I had that ability! I could help so many people!”

In the past few months, I’ve really taken the leap. I’ve come out of the “psychic closet” after four years of mentoring with a really great teacher. I took the steps and I’ve arrived where I am now, doing things that were unimaginable to me just four years ago, and I’m still walking. Step after step along this path in excited anticipation of each step that follows.

I started this blog in June of 2014 and I remember how scary just taking that one small step was at that time in my life and it has become such a valuable outlet for me. Such a place of freedom and catharsis, filled with people who are like minded and read these ramblings of mine (thank you!).

After the blog came a Facebook group (search My Metaphysical Musings), and a Twitter account (@Talking2Spirits), the ordering of business cards and the opening of my home to people who trust me to receive and deliver their messages from Spirit. I’m honored, privileged and fulfilled by this work. I can say I’m doing something I love, and it all came from taking that one scary step, waaaaay back in the beginning of deciding to look for a teacher who resonated with me and would guide and support me on my way.

I have people coming to me for readings, which is amazing, and I am getting quite a few clients through word of mouth, which is fantastic. Some clients have asked if I’d consider reading at parties and I do have a party coming up at the end of the month through my fabulous friend and mentor. There are so many up and coming awesome opportunities flying at me as fast as I can open my arms to accept them.

I continue to use my intentions and affirmations to empower and inspire myself and others. I’ve found people who (gasp!) don’t think I’m crazy when I talk about hearing voices and having messages for them, and I’m loving every minute of my spiritual growth.

It doesn’t matter what “it” is for you. It could be walking on stilts, it could be writing a book, conquering your fear of heights, buying a home or, it could be just finally speaking your truth for all to hear. That one step that is unfathomable and scary now, could be the one catalyst to send you flying in the direction of your dreams and all you’ve ever wanted. As you continue to do things which bring you in line with your purpose and the more fulfilled and happy you feel, the more of these things will come to you and manifest in your life, and that my friends, is truly awesome.

If you can muster the courage to take that first step, the other foot will follow and the next steps will be illuminated by the love of the universe and the light of your passion!

 

 

When saying, “I’m a medium” isn’t scary anymore…

  
I was just out running, which kind of sucked because summer has arrived here and it’s hot. I think that my outdoor running season is just about over. I will take it easy with treadmill runs for a month or two. 

Anyway, as I was walking home I was reflecting on something that happened this week at work. There’s a lady at work who came to my office a couple of weeks ago and asked if I would do a reading for her. First of all I was like, “who told you?!”, then I realized she had probably seen it on Facebook since we are friends there too. 

Fast forward to last week. I had given the lady at work one of my cards and I guess it fell out of her pocket somewhere. One of the poobahs found it. 

He came into my office last week and asked if I read palms “or something” and said he found my card. I just spat out, “no actually.  I’m a medium. I channel spirits and talk to guides.”

*duck and cover*

I expected a barrage of questions about my mental health. None came. He told me he had questions for me, thought it was cool and that he might come see me sometime. Also his sister is a medium. 

I’ve noticed lately I’ve been more open about telling people without too much fear around the admission. I still have fears about other peoples judgement, but I’m working on letting that go. 

I think I’ve made great progress, considering a few months ago nobody really knew about it. Now my reading spots are booking up, I’m becoming more confident and I am getting great reviews from my clients. 

I really feel that this is my calling and what I am here to do. It feels good and I am proud of myself.